Don’t say “I should”, say “I will”
July 31, 2020
Our internal dialogue is full of thoughts that don’t actually materialize. If you know that you should do something and contain the capabilities and resources of doing it, then you should think, “I’m going to start doing it right now”.
Today is the first most appropriate day to start doing what you believe, feel and know. If you have a lot of excuses, will power is important to overcome them. Transform thoughts of “I should change,” into being the change you want to be.
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There will always be something that seems more important than working on your long-term goals. You always deserve to watch television. There will always be a lot of work. You will always be able to make that phone call another time. There is always going to be something that is more pressing than taking time to speak to a therapist about the hardships in your life.
The present moment is the perfect time to begin doing all those things that you’ve been delaying. Every time you remember a friend and think “I should call them to see what is up, we haven’t talked for a long time” call them immediately or at least text him to say hi. If you think you’ll do it later, it might be a year before you call them. If you cannot call at that exact moment, text to say hello. That is better than being silent and may open communication. This is better than thinking you should have called.
Break up the challenges
Making a phone call or going to the supermarket to organize your weekly meals are tasks that are easily accomplished. Nevertheless, there are more complex challenges that take much more time. Getting your driver’s license or reorganizing the house by redecorating it are examples of more complex tasks that require more energy and forethought.
You may feel a series of negative emotions such as frustration, discouragement, anger or sadness in tasks such as these. However, you must remember that you can’t move forward without facing obstacles. Adversities are a natural part of the process to accomplish what you believe.
Have you ever seen a dirt road without stones? If you have clear goals, just keep walking. There are smooth turns in your path waiting for you after all the bumps.
Doing internal work
Large personal transformation is not possible by implementing less complex behaviors that have no purpose or foundation. Your best tools are willpower, determination, optimism and commitment to build a life worth living step by step, regardless of the obstacles.
Search within you, and be clear about your values (what really matters to you). Use your time and energy on the things that matter, beyond the socially desirable or the well-intentioned advice that people offer.
Be patient. Growing, improving and finding a meaningful and healthy lifestyle is a lifelong task. Regulate your energy to better handle uncertainties and negative aspects of life. Trust yourself and your possibilities. Be flexible. Not everything will go as planned, but it will be worth it if you commit yourself.
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