As its name suggests, self-concept is literally the concept we have of ourselves. That is, how we define ourselves, what characteristics we consider define us, what idea we have of what we are or who we are. Self-concept has to do, therefore, with identity, that is, who I think I am, what “things” I think I am, although it is not exactly the same thing, since identity would be something broader.
Self-concept and self-esteem
Both are part of our identity and are closely linked to each other. In very colloquial terms, we could say that self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluation we make of the characteristics included in the self-concept. In this sense, self-esteem is the result of the judgment we make about what we like and dislike about ourselves.
However, in reality, self-esteem is something deeper than that, it is more complex -psychologically speaking- than what is normally reduced in street language to “to like or not to like oneself”. In fact, strictly speaking, self-esteem is the perception that a person has of deserving to be loved or not. When we say “loved” it is not to be understood only in a “romantic” sense, but with a broader meaning: the perception that a person has of deserving to be valued, validated, recognized, cared for, integrated, accepted, etc.
Another way of explaining this would be that this perception of worthiness has to do with the expectation we have that others will love us: if I believe that I am valuable, that is, if my self-esteem is reasonably high, I will believe that others will consider me in the same way and that allows me to go through life with security, confidence, and positivity.
In the reality of our internal world, self-esteem and self-concept exist at the same time, although here we are separating them in order to analyze them more clearly. In doing so, we can observe areas of each of these two self-referents that are very distinct. For example, if I say “I am 170cm tall” I am clearly talking about a characteristic of my self-concept, without going into its value: being 170cm is an objective fact, which defines me, regardless of whether I like it more or less, in which case we would enter into self-esteem.
If I say “I am a great person” I am actually talking about both self-concept and self-esteem at the same time, since being a great person is something that I consider defines me (self-concept) but includes an evaluation, a judgment, in this case, a positive one (self-esteem).
Self-concept is born from a constant interaction between external and internal materials.
On the other hand, there can also be paradoxes. I can say “I look horrible… and nothing happens, that does not make me feel bad, I love my face, it is different and special and gives me personality”. In other words, a negative evaluation of a character does not necessarily imply bad self-esteem regarding that subject.
Rich self-concept, poor self-concept
We often speak of people with a great “inner world”, multifaceted or complex. In other cases, we would speak of people with a poor self-concept, either because they have little capacity for introspection and reflection on themselves, because of their stiffness, because of a low cultural level, because they have a weaker or immature personality because they are what we say in colloquial terms “simple,” etc.
Let’s imagine I make a list of the characteristics that define me, that indicate something of what I am or who I am. If the list has 4 items instead of 40, it seems that this self-concept is not very broad, not very rich. On the other hand, if the list has 40 characteristics but they only speak of one or two facets (for example, physical appearance, or profession) it does not seem to be a very rich self-concept either.
In both cases, perhaps it would be interesting to look at ourselves a little more closely, to be more observant, to be able to detect more characteristics, to recognize the complex person we are and not reduce it to four things or to the four things about ourselves that we have been taught that we are, that we have learned that we are and that we repeat over and over again as if they were the only truth about ourselves.
It is also convenient to do so, because if I have a poor but well-valued self-concept, nothing may happen, but if there are few things that define me and I give them little value, or others begin to give them little value, then I will surely sink because I have put all my self-esteem eggs in the one basket and the basket is broken.
For example: if I only define myself in professional terms, that can work for me as long as I work and as long as I have a good view of myself as an employee, or others do. However, the day I retire I will “disappear”, I will cease to be someone of value and that can be devastating. The same thing happens if I only consider myself in physical terms: what if that is not valued well, what if for some reason I start to lose my physical attractiveness and desirable person? That “all of me” will be wrong, I will disappear, but for a distortedly simplistic view of the person I am.
The constructive view of the other
Is our self-concept shaped by what others think of us? Of course, we do. Our identity -which includes both self-concept and self-esteem- is based on what those around us tell us we are, from childhood onwards. You are a man, you are Spanish, you are handsome, you are bad, you are a good friend, you are not good at sports, you are my son, you are the oldest, you will be important, you will go to university, etc.
This “building” is enriched with the rest of life experiences and with how each one of us prepares all these influences: we all feed on what comes from outside but we elaborate it with our own particular tools, we have a very important voice in our self-concept, of course. That is to say, our self-concept is the fruit of constant interaction of external and internal material.
In short, to reach a conclusion about who we are, we are very much influenced by what our families, friends, teachers, partners, co-workers tell us we are. Sometimes there can be a great consensus about this over time or between different people in our environment.
Other times the different people in our lives have different ideas of who we are or what we are like and pass them on to us. It is normal and desirable for such controversies to exist – it would be terrible if everyone told us we were horrible and we had no alternative outside opinion. We are never exactly “the same person” with everyone, we have different roles in our lives and we also change our behavior and hence our self-concept.
It is important to keep in mind that there is part of the self-concept – or identity if you prefer – that changes over time while another part remains stable throughout life.
For example, I will always consider myself to have a specific gender identity, I will always call myself by my name (unless I change it and decide that from that day on I will be the person who is now called by that name), I will always be from a specific place (the sense of belonging to a place may vary, obviously, but in general it is relatively stable), but just as I was a teacher for a time, now I am no longer a teacher, I am a pensioner, or before I was not a father and now I am.
Some aspects change while others remain totally or relatively stable over time. Remember, if you struggle with the idea of self-concept, there is always professional help you can turn to.
