{"id":1278,"date":"2017-01-12T16:51:49","date_gmt":"2017-01-12T15:51:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/?p=1278"},"modified":"2021-10-05T10:32:25","modified_gmt":"2021-10-05T09:32:25","slug":"dependencia-emocional-sin-ti-no-soy-nada-lo-soy-todo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/terapias-ifeel\/ansiedad\/dependencia-emocional-sin-ti-no-soy-nada-lo-soy-todo\/","title":{"rendered":"Dependencia emocional: sin ti (no soy nada) lo soy todo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[:es]<a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/guia-logra-propositos-ano-nuevo-2017\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">El otro d\u00eda<\/a> os mencionamos ese <strong>&#8216;yo ideal&#8217;<\/strong>, un arquetipo o idealizaci\u00f3n de nosotros mismos al que las personas damos vida en nuestra cabeza y coraz\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>Ese ideal es la suma de todas esas cosas que pensamos que <strong>&#8220;deber\u00edamos ser y no somos&#8221;<\/strong>: caracter\u00edsticas personales o f\u00edsicas que se supone que deber\u00edamos desarrollar, junto con las cosas que consideramos que deber\u00edamos saber hacer.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00bfQui\u00e9n no ha deseado alguna vez ser algo que no es? \u00bfQui\u00e9n no ha sufrido para ser aquello que anhela?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>La persona m\u00e1s querida, el cuerpo perfecto que la sociedad te pide, la n\u00famero uno en el trabajo, el que mejor notas saca, el hijo exitoso que quieren tus padres, la madre que no se equivoca y que es capaz de hacerlo absolutamente todo bien&#8230; Todos esos <strong>&#8220;tengo que&#8221;<\/strong> o <strong>&#8220;deber\u00eda que&#8221;<\/strong>, todas esas\u00a0<strong>expectativas<\/strong> que se esperan de ti, te bombardean constantemente haci\u00e9ndote creer que <strong>no eres suficiente. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Los or\u00edgenes son diversos, y se manifiestan de forma expl\u00edcita o impl\u00edcita: <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/sobrevivir-reunion-familiar-morir-familia\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">relaciones familiares<\/a> basadas en la cr\u00edtica<\/strong> y la <strong>exigencia<\/strong>, la <strong>falta de reconocimiento o de cari\u00f1o<\/strong>, <strong>acontecimientos traum\u00e1ticos<\/strong>, <strong>p\u00e9rdidas de personas significativas,<\/strong> etc.\u00a0Incluso la propia sociedad nos dice en cada anuncio que nuestra vida no es lo suficientemente buena.<\/p>\n<p>Todo ello nos hace sentir peque\u00f1itos. Tanto es as\u00ed que acabamos viendo m\u00e1s defectos que virtudes en nuestra persona, y <strong>valoramos a todos los dem\u00e1s por encima de nosotros<\/strong>. Nos disfrazamos de lo que (pensamos que) el resto de personas quiere de nosotros.<\/p>\n<p>As\u00ed es como aprendemos a no decir <strong>&#8216;no&#8217;<\/strong>. Por miedo a ser rechazados o no aceptados, por miedo a que no nos quieran, o lo que es peor, a que nos dejen de querer o se vayan de nuestro lado. Sin querer abrimos la puerta de la <strong>dependencia emocional,\u00a0<\/strong>acaba importando m\u00e1s la imagen que tienen los dem\u00e1s de ti, que lo que piensas t\u00fa de ti mismo.<\/p>\n<p>Poco a poco la <strong>falta de autoestima<\/strong> se convierte en <strong>dependencia emocional y necesidad de los dem\u00e1s, <\/strong>entre otras. Y nos seguimos haciendo peque\u00f1itos. Tan peque\u00f1itos que empezamos a pensar que somos hormigas que se pueden pisar. Comienza la <a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/sirve-la-ansiedad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">ansiedad<\/a>, las situaciones que nos da\u00f1an\u00a0y seguimos permitiendo, las discusiones, la <a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/13-trucos-superar-la-tristeza-la-soledad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tristeza <\/a>y la soledad. Pero a\u00fan as\u00ed, tratamos de no hacer ruido. <strong>Para no molestar. Para que nos quieran.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Es como si fu\u00e9ramos una vulgar caja de cart\u00f3n a la que es necesario envolver en papel de regalo, para que alguien la compre. Una caja que pierde inter\u00e9s cuando retiras el envoltorio. Una caja vac\u00eda.<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>\u00bfPero sab\u00e9is lo bueno de sentirse vac\u00edo? Que s\u00f3lo queda llenarlo.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>Una caja vac\u00eda siempre se puede llenar.<\/p>\n<p>Se le pueden dar m\u00faltiples funciones. Podemos desarmarla y volverla a construir.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Esa caja, nunca estuvo vac\u00eda. S\u00f3lo que ella no lo sab\u00eda.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Maltrato Sutil.\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Wxd6tv3_txM?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\">\n<p>[:en]<a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/guia-logra-propositos-ano-nuevo-2017\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The other day<\/a> we spoke about that <strong>\u201cideal me,\u201d <\/strong>the archetype or idealization of ourselves that we bring to life in our hearts and minds.<\/p>\n<p>That ideal is the sum total of all those things we think <strong>\u201cwe should be but we\u2019re not\u201d:<\/strong> personal or physical characteristics that we\u2019re supposed to develop, along with the things we consider we should be doing.<\/p>\n<p><em>Who hasn\u2019t desired to be someone they\u2019re not?<br \/>\n<\/em><em>Who hasn\u2019t suffered to become whom they desire?<\/em><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The most beloved person, the perfect body that society demands of you, the number one at work, the brightest student, the prodigious son that parents love, the mother that never makes a mistake and is capable of doing absolutely everything perfectly\u2026 All these <strong>\u201cI have to\u201d <\/strong>or <strong>\u201cI should,\u201d <\/strong>all these <strong>expectations <\/strong>that are set on you constantly bombard you and make you believe <strong>you are not enough. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The origins are varied, and they manifest themselves either explicitly or implicitly: <a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/sobrevivir-reunion-familiar-morir-familia\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">family relationships<\/a> <strong>based on criticism<\/strong> and <strong>stringency<\/strong>, <strong>lack of recognition or affection, traumatic events, loss of loved ones<\/strong>, etc. Society itself tells us through every ad that our life is just not good enough.<\/p>\n<p>All this makes us feel inadequate. So much so that we end up seeing more flaws than virtues in ourselves, and <strong>we value others above ourselves<\/strong>. We disguise ourselves in what (we think) others want from us.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how we learn to say <strong>\u201cno.\u201d <\/strong>From fear of being rejected or not accepted, fear of not being loved, or even worse, fear of no longer being loved or of being abandoned. We unintentionally let <strong>emotional dependency<\/strong> take control, and what ends up mattering more is what others think of ourselves and not what we think of ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>Little by little the <strong>lack of self-esteem <\/strong>turns into <strong>emotional dependency and a need of others\u2019 approval. <\/strong>And we keep feeling inadequate. So inadequate and small that we begin to think we are ants that can be stepped on. <a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/sirve-la-ansiedad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Anxiety<\/a> begins, situations that harm us and yet we keep allowing, discussions, <a href=\"http:\/\/digitalmind.wpengine.com\/13-trucos-superar-la-tristeza-la-soledad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sadness and loneliness<\/a>. Even so, we try not to make a fuss out of it. <strong>Not to bother. So we can be liked.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s as if we were a mere vulgar carton box that must be giftwrapped so someone can buy it. A box that looses its value once you remove the wrapping. An empty box.<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>But you know what\u2019s the positive think about feeling empty? That you can only be filled up.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p>An empty box can always be filled.<\/p>\n<p>It can have many functions. You can dismantle it and rebuild it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Because that box, never really was empty. It\u2019s just that it didn\u2019t know it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>https:\/\/youtu.be\/Wxd6tv3_txM[:]<\/p>\n\n    <div class=\"xs_social_share_widget xs_share_url after_content \t\tmain_content  wslu-style-1 wslu-share-box-shaped wslu-fill-colored wslu-none wslu-share-horizontal wslu-theme-font-no wslu-main_content\">\n\n\t\t\n        <ul>\n\t\t\t        <\/ul>\n    <\/div> \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[:es]El otro d\u00eda os mencionamos ese &#8216;yo ideal&#8217;, un arquetipo o idealizaci\u00f3n de nosotros mismos al que las personas damos vida en nuestra cabeza y coraz\u00f3n. Ese ideal es la suma de todas esas cosas que pensamos que &#8220;deber\u00edamos ser y no somos&#8221;: caracter\u00edsticas personales o f\u00edsicas que se supone que deber\u00edamos desarrollar, junto con [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":1299,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","postBodyCss":"","postBodyMargin":[],"postBodyPadding":[],"postBodyBackground":{"backgroundType":"classic","gradient":""},"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,87,486,133],"tags":[157,155,153,23,159,79,121,137,156],"class_list":["post-1278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ansiedad","category-depresion","category-desarrollo-personal","category-familia","tag-amor","tag-apego","tag-dependencia-emocional","tag-desarrollo-personal","tag-deseabilidad-social","tag-expectativas","tag-inseguridad","tag-pareja","tag-vinculacion-emocional"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1278"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1278\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ifeelonline.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}