One of the things that concerns us most these days is how the new reality, that is, the period in which the COVID-19 virus is still a significant threat but there is no confinement, is going to affect our interpersonal relationships, our way of interacting with our social circle.

We have already experienced these weeks the boom of online communication and we have incorporated the routine of keeping one another at a distance, of not touching. Even now that the use of face masks is becoming more and more widespread, we are getting used to talking only by seeing our eyes, but not being able to see smiles or other gestures so important for effective communication.

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The new reality without kisses and hugs

Many people these days wonder when will it be time to embrace their loved ones again and, of course, to have intercourse with different people again in a normal way. Some may be wondering if that day will ever come, if the world as we knew it, that is, the world in which we touched and approached each other, is not going to come back.

We shouldn’t be wondering how to survive without kisses and hugs: kisses and hugs are not going to go away

It’s risky to try to make certain kinds of predictions at times like this. However, since we have so much documented history behind us, it may be most useful to examine carefully what we are talking about.

The COVID-19 epidemic is serious and has turned the planet upside down, but it is by no means the first serious pandemic that humans have faced. And human beings have survived. And it could not have done so if it had not safeguarded physical interpersonal contact.

COVID-19, on the other hand, is the first pandemic of these characteristics that all of us alive today are facing, given that the previous assimilable pandemic (the 1918 flu, mistankenly called the “Spanish flu”) happened approximately one hundred years ago.

From this lack of habit, from this novelty, comes our uncertainty. However, the human being has survived as a species to countless situations similar or assimilable to the current one. It is crude to say this but, although with each pandemic many humans fall by the wayside, after each pandemic humanity has remained. Somehow, sooner or later, with more or less important consequences, life has ended up working again. And human life is, above all, about interacting with each other, from close up and from far away but, above all, close-up.

The signs of affection through touch are going to come back. They are already doing so little by little and they will end up making their way even if it means a relatively assumable risk to health, because they respond to a human need.

The most emblematic example of this need is found in the healthy development of babies from the moment of birth: no human being is fully developed without being touched, no matter how much he is fed, tucked in or given medicine. A baby that is not held, kissed, caressed and, of course, rocked does not develop properly on a physical and intellectual level. Touch is a crucial source of brain stimulation at birth, much more important than hearing, taste or sight. If it does not occur, the baby does not develop, gets sick and, in extreme cases, ends up dying.

This, which once we are adults is not so transcendental, does give us an idea of the importance of touch for our health throughout our life cycle. We do not embrace each other just because it is pleasant, or because it is a cultural convention, but because it is necessary: embracing supports us, regulates us emotionally, comforts us, makes us feel loved, protected, welcomed, and so on. In fact, this is precisely what makes hugs pleasant. This, of course, also applies to a caress, a handshake, a shake of the arm or a pat on the back.

Imagine how a person feels who no one touches or wants to touch. Or a person that no one wants to get close to. Of course their mood will tend to decline. Because we need to touch and get close to communicate all kinds of messages.

The new reality without kisses and hugs

Obviously, the way we touch each other and manage interpersonal space is subject to enormous cultural constraints. For this reason, it is likely that during the period of confinement that we have experienced these weeks, people who have spent time alone in Spain and Italy have been more affected by the absence of social contact than someone in the same situation in Japan or Sweden. Not because people in Japan or Sweden do not touch each other or do not need to, but because they do so less, their interpersonal distance is more pronounced than in countries with a Mediterranean, Latin or Arab culture, to name a few.

On the other hand, no matter how Mediterranean you were born and raised, if before confinement you did not have excessive interpersonal and physical contact, in general, you will have felt less distance than those people who are used to being on top of each other all day. Nor can we deduce from this that confinement as a whole is more bearable if you are Japanese or Swedish: it is not an easy situation for anyone and in the end there are many more factors that subtract and add to the difficulty.

We don’t hug just because it’s nice or polite: we hug because it’s necessary. We adjust ourselves emotionally

Ultimately, we shouldn’t wonder how we’re going to survive without kisses and hugs for the simple reason that we won’t need to survive without kisses and hugs: kisses and hugs are not going to disappear. Human beings are not designed to tolerate such a thing, even if we can restrict it for certain periods of time, as is happening with this pandemic. We need touch at any age to communicate fully and also for our physical and psychological health. That is why, whatever happens, human beings will end up looking for ways to get their dose of touch, even in crises like the current one.

Employee Wellness Platform